I Am Not Thankful For…

Since the start of November, my Facebook newsfeed has been inundated with statuses regarding what people are thankful for.  Secretly, I mock most of them. On the other hand, these acquaintances just give me another reason to click a multitude of random buttons to exile them from appearing on my newsfeed.  When thinking about what to write, I figured I’d do my own twist and not take 30 damn days to do it.  I could write a lot of thankful things in regards to Louisville, it’s beer geeks, and its vast expansion of beer knowledge/culture/availability.  Alas, I will not go that direction.  Instead, here is my beer-related version of things I am not thankful for.

I am not thankful for…

Pumpkin beers.  I used to love them, but I’ve officially been burnt out.  I’d almost get a more pleasant feeling by snorting a dry mix of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice than trying to find a pumpkin beer that takes like an actual pumpkin or squash.

I am not thankful for… 

Ohio, Northern Kentucky, and Indiana getting distribution from more breweries and Louisville getting the shaft.

I am not thankful for…

PBR winning an award at GABF.  Now hipsters everywhere have to find a new “uncool” beer to swarm over.  Please stay away from Old Milwaukee…I’ve been drinking that for years.  Give Busch a try or something.

I am not thankful for…

Beer Advocate.   When you say a beer tastes like leather or black strap molasses, I want to take a leather strap to your hide. It’s gotten to the point that I cannot read any reviews without trying to figure out what the hell half of them are talking about. The site reminds me that yes, anyone can post anything on the internet. I am very thankful for Beer Pulse, though.

I am not thankful for…

People in Kentucky not using their turn signals.  There is a direct correlation between the neglect of using a turn signal in Louisville and the amount I spend on beer.  Don’t ask me how I figured this out, but I know it’s true.

I am not thankful for…

Beer bottles without dates on them.  I’m sure it costs a little extra to do, but it really helps us know when we can grab a fresh IPA or one that has been sitting on the shelves for months.

I am not thankful for…

Beer seasonals coming out to early (see pumpkin post above).  It’s almost like we are celebrating a holiday a month before it actually happens.   The anticipation is starting to lessen.  I blame Black Friday. And Oprah.

I am not thankful for…

Serving me a beer in a frosty mug.  Elitist, yes please.

I am not thankful for…

Bartenders/servers who have no idea what different types of beer mean when they ask you for an order.  I often feel like when I ask them a question, it’s the same feeling of a 7th grader being called on for an answer when they obviously chose watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo over reading their required lesson on the Civil War.

I am not thankful for…

Local bars not updating their social media or updating their social media way too much.  A slippery slope to say the least.

I am not thankful for…

Friends still playing drinking games.  Chugging a Sierra Nevada Torpedo has a little bit stronger effect than chugging a Natural Light in an epic game of flippy cup.

What's your take? Please comment below.