If so, I’d have to shoot myself.

One is a Heller Weizen Maibock called HellBock, and the other a Weizen Doppelbock consciously mimicking a familiar commercial example: Knobentinus.

Mere Hefe-Weizen they’re not, but this disclosure of relative wheatiness still will come as a profound shock to numerous of my compatriots, who’ve been compelled for many years to listen to my choleric denunciations of the genre. It isn’t so much that I have a personal aversion to the style, which suits me in seasonal and situational senses, as when I’m actually in Bavaria, rehydrating after a recreational bicycle ride.

Rather, my annoyance stems from my years as Publican, tending bar, and viewing the carnage unleashed on fledglings by Hefe-Weizen. If left unchecked, Hefe-Weizen quickly attacks aspiring palates, stunting their evolution and deferring proper revolution. Masquerading as a seemingly innocuous “gateway” beer, Hefe-Weizen can quickly proliferate into its own hermetic comfort zone, leading neophytes to forget that comfort zones exist for the sole purpose of being transcended as quickly as possible.

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Beer style guidelines provide familiar parameters for Hefe-Weizen: Half (or more) wheat and half (or less) barley, barely hopped, and fermented with a special ale yeast that imparts aromas and flavors often associated with apples, bananas and cloves. “Hefe” is the German word for yeast, and “Weizen” means wheat. “Weisse,” or white, is often used somewhat synonymously, as the cloudy appearance of wheat ale prompts descriptions of it as “white.” Even so, there are filtered incarnations (“Kristall”).

“Dunkel” indicates darker malts. Schneider’s famous Hefe-Weizen, my choice for Germany’s finest example of the style (and a brewery I’ve visited twice and enjoyed immensely both times) is as dark as Franziskaner’s Dunkel, although Schneider does not tout it on the label, reminding us that beer style groupings aren’t always exact.

Few folks remember that Hefe-Weizen in Germany staged a remarkable comeback in the 1980’s after very nearly dying out. German-style wheat ale now can be consumed every day if so desired, both in many parts of Germany and also abroad as a result of aggressive export strategies.

But why drink any one beer every day?

Like the Bolshevik leader of old, Leon Trotsky, I am a “permanent revolution” theorist: Having eschewed the monotony of the mainstream, the liberated beer drinker is forever more faced with numerous flavorful options, and it is his or her response to this multiplicity of choice that determines the ultimate success of the craft revolution, in both personal and collective terms.

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Hefe-Weizen’s role as “starter” for many drinkers is sensible, so long as it doesn’t become the “finishing” beer as well, in the sense of constituting a comfort zone that the consumer clings to Linus’s blanket, and subsequently has no intention of relinquishing.

Worst yet, the comfort zone in metro Louisville often doesn’t even exhibit the many different varieties of Hefe-Weizen available for sampling; rather, it is reduced to one brand: Franziskaner. So, kindly note that Franziskaner is not “German for wheat beer.” There are other wheat ales brewed in Germany, and fine examples of Hefe-Weizen are being brewed right here in the United States.

Go ahead and try them all, but don’t forget to leave the lemon slices in the fridge, because while we’re at it, let’s be Kristall clear about the uses for citrus fruit in beer.

There are no uses for citrus fruit in beer.

If lemons were intended for use in German-style wheat ale, then lemons would grow alongside hops and barley in German fields.

They do not. Do oranges grow in Belgium?

No, and they don’t grow in Golden, Colorado, either, so there is no place for the orange on a glass of Coors’s mock Belgian Wit ale, Blue Moon.

Whether drinking competently conceived German wheat ale, or the wretched carbonated Mexican urine known as Corona, the presence of redundant fruit slices marks you as one who meekly and mindlessly follows prevailing fashion, but training wheels are just that. At some point, it’s time to learn how to ride the bike.

To review: Permanent revolution implies a constant struggle to resolve certain nagging elemental, cosmological problems, like these:

• Does one survey the world’s teeming diversity with a view toward finding the “few,” or the “many”?
• Does one find the perfect song and listen to it to the exclusion of all others, or listen to many songs, finding the essence of pleasure in each?
• Does the beer drinker favor one brand or style of beer, lavishing it with all the cultural implications of brand loyalty, or is the whole world of beer a vast puzzle, with the right beer for the right season, activity, meal or even time of day?

Verily, slavish brand loyalty negates revolutionary consciousness. There is a certain utility in knowing that particular breweries rock, or that a certain beer is the yardstick for its style. However, it is no more conducive to further personal development to drink only Franziskaner (or Guinness, or Sierra Nevada Pale Ale) than it once was to drink only Budweiser or Miller Lite.

Years ago, the beer writer Michael Jackson said that the pursuit of the perfect pint should last a lifetime. He meant there’s always another great beer around the corner, over the next hill, down the street, and we revel in the unfettered joy that derives from searching.

In this way, the beer drinker’s tastes constantly undergo reinvention, and the ensuing revolution truly remains a permanent one.

I’m sure Leon would approve.

Bell’s Black note is a blend of their Expedition Stout and their Double Cream Stout (both quality beers by themself) put to rest in freshly dumped oak bourbon barrels for months.  Although it’s been bottled before, this batch was draft only (well, that’s what the distributor said).  Therefore, this could have been my only chance to drink the beer.

Coming in at 11.5% ABV, the beer pours a pitch black with a thumbnails worth of cream light brown latte-resembling head.  Talking about our days at work allowed the head to settle a bit before I took my first sip. The first thing that hits is an intense amount of dark chocolate, like biting into those Dove candies my wife is all about.  I was surprised at how less boozy, and more smooth and creamy the mouth feel felt.  It reminded me of a 2009 Speedway Stout I had on New Years Eve of this year or just stuffing my mouth with a bunch of marshmallow fluff.  The nose was bittersweet chocolate, cream, and bourbon.

Some notes of bourbon and oak at the end of the taste, with a mixture of darker dry fruits (figs and dates) and even more dark chocolate.  I didn’t notice much roast at all, which is all right by me.  An extremely well balanced beer than didn’t stay in the glass that long.  I quickly ordered another as people started to come in by two’s and the Grale quickly resembled a Sunday morning at church, with just less booze.  I found out later the keg tapped not too long after I left, so to those who were able to get some, be very thankful.  The people at Bell’s know what the heck they are doing.

Cheers!

For example, last night we had a meeting about the Bourbon Chase (a 200 mile relay in the heart of Bourbon Country) and beers were shared over the discussion.  We could have had a meeting without beers, but often times, beers bring out the best ideas (or what we think sounded good at the time) amongst friends.

Which leads me to the races I’ve been looking forward to all year.  A race, which isn’t a testament to how fast you can run, but how fast you can run and drink at the same time.  A task, I have truly not mastered yet.  The beer mile.

The beer mile is pretty simple, but also has rules.  A beer mile consists of four-quarter mile loops with the drinking of a full beer before the start of each lap.  Beers, which must have an ABV of 5% (which knocks out most macro Lights) or above must be finished completely before you can start your next lap.  The runner who can drink/run the fastest is the winner.  Also, if you vomit during this whole ordeal, one penalty lap.   I can admit with certainty that if you vomit twice, still only one penalty lap.  I know, I have the picture to prove I won the Most Puke Award (Not pictured –Ed.).

Lately, my go to beer after a run has been a 16 oz.  tallboy of Deviant Dales from Oskar Blues in Colorado.  I’ll admit, I wasn’t a big fan of this beer at first and neither was Hipster Steve, but it’s been growing on me like his beard.  Beer geek nation has become infatuated with canned beer lately and I don’t blame them when it comes to Oskar Blues.  Deviant Dales comes in at 8% ABV with 85 IBUS.  Although Hipster Steve says the nose reminds him of onion, I get a nice mix of grapefruit, grass, and a hint of my Grandmothers Pine Sol.  Perfect for mowing the lawn and then polishing the furniture afterwards!  The citrus hits up front with a grapefruit –esque taste and then followed by a fairly prominent malt presence mixed in with tongue-bending bitterness.

The good news, a great beer.  The bad news, we can’t get it in Kentucky or Indiana.  If you can get your hands on one, go for it!

My lovely wife and I had the opportunity to take a night out on the town sans children. I’ve been meaning to eat at Four Pegs after having been there for the Founder’s KBS Release. The Chicken and Waffles had my interest piqued, and I love a good burger – probably my all-time favorite food. I’m a health food junkie, I know. Weird hippy.

We bellied up to the bar to place our order:

Me:
Breckenridge Vanilla Porter ($4.50)
Beer Cheese & Pretzel appetizer ($3.50)
Beer Glazed Burger ($10.00)

Mrs. LouisvilleBeer.com:
Franziskaner ($4.25)
Chicken & Waffle Sandwich ($9.00)

The beers came back to the table with us while my wife rolled her eyes at my checking into Untappd (“Loubeer” if you wanna look me up!). I had never had the Vanilla Porter before, and I was surprised by the lack of upfront vanilla. Not that it was bad, I just had expected something a bit sweeter. I still drank every drop of it.

My wife has a soft spot in her beer-drinkin’ heart for Franziskaner. It reminds her of her college trip to Austria where she sat and drank this with her “Freundins” every night. To me, it’s like a banana smoothie, not what I look for in a beer. I took a sip to remind me that I don’t care for Hefe-Weissens. She, however, was in heaven.

Both the appetizer and entrees came to our cozy table at the same time, which isn’t the end of the world to me, but some people might complain (really?). The Beer Cheese appetizer came with one fat pretzel, and really, we couldn’t finish everything we ordered, so it’s a non-issue as well. I typically prefer a spicy beer cheese, but this one was salty, sharp, tangy and delicious. I’d definitely order it again.

When it came time to focus on the entrees, we instantly became jealous of each other’s plates. Her sandwich was gigantic. Two square belgian waffles serving as the bread for a thick fried chicken breast that was fried to perfection with a maple/brown sugar/mayo sauce. There were some paprika overtones in the chicken’s breading that made the savory vs. sweet combo that much more delicious. I would have expected the waffle to be crisp, but it thankfully was not. Soft and delicate like good buns should be. (Joke? Nah…)

My burger was pretty dern spectacular. My wife begged me for the Fried Green Tomatoes on my burger, so I took them off and gave them to her. She liked them, but said they needed some sort of sauce – when you order them as an appetizer, they come with a Chipotle Ranch sauce. The bacon on the burger had an super smoky flavor and added a great crunch. Cooked perfectly with just enough pink and lots of juicy yumminess. Best burger this side of the Granville Inn.

Don’t get me started on the fries. Good heavens. Hand cut and, I assume, fried twice for that extra crispness. Just the right amount of kosher salt sprinkled on them. Who needs ketchup?

We decided we needed more beer. I got a Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron ($8.75 and worth every penny) – a big 12% Brown Ale from America’s favorite off-centered brewery. Damn, was it a beer. Boozy as hell, and thick and oily. Like sipping caramel out of some weird Paraguayan wooden vessel. I’ll hopefully be back for more of that one. My wife didn’t like it, but she had also just finished her little smoothie beer.

The Mrs. got an Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout (on the nitro tap $6.00) and enjoyed it. She even let me finish it off for her. One of us had to drive, ya know (lucky her).

Four Pegs is one of those places that I’ll darken the doorstep of again. This is also my new “hey-out-of-town-guests-you’ve-got-to-try-this” place. Apparently, Tuesdays are Wing night, so if you’re tired of the swill those other wing places sling, you might have found your new wing spot.

The prices were reasonable and the food was divine. Yes, I used the word divine, okay. Sue me.

Go there. Tomorrow night.

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HOURS

Tuesday – Thursday
5 – 11 pm
Friday – Saturday
5 pm – 1 am
Sunday
4 pm – 11 pm

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ADDRESS

1053 Goss Ave
Louisville, Ky 40217

PHONE

502-634-1447

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Back in 2006, my hardy band of beer cyclists gathered our spare tubes, route maps and brewery addresses in preparation for an epic assault on Central Europe. Once on continental ground, our strenuous two-wheeled rides were strategically interspersed with drinking bouts and hangover-day rail transfers as we moved steadily east from Bamberg to Prague, where on the south side of the city, a 170-mile sign-posted Greenway path to Vienna originates. Indeed, the Austrian capital was our ultimate goal.

Days later, quite exhausted, we arrived in Tulln, a small and lively city on the banks of the Danube northwest of Vienna. The original touring group had winnowed to three, with Graham breaking from the pack midway through the Greenway to pursue a brief, wholly separate train trip to Vienna in advance of traveling west to Belgium.

There’d be time to catch up with Graham once we got back home, and so the remaining trio of stalwarts pressed on. After a combined bicycle and train ride from Havraniky to Tulln on a gorgeous late summer’s Friday, we were delighted to find a pleasant weekend wine festival under way. After sampling fresh examples of the local vintner’s art, we accidentally stumbled upon Adlerbrau, a small, newish brewpub, and enjoyed soft, golden house lagers alongside heaping platters of regional pork.

Next morning, we rolled down the long-established Danube bike path, a veritable superhighway of the genre, cruising 40 riverside kilometers into Vienna. Rooming arrangements were made, and by early afternoon, it was time for beer. Although Vienna is consummately friendly for cycling, our posteriors ached and we elected to walk, strolling from the Rathaus along the majestic Ringstrasse toward Vienna’s famous Opera House, and vaguely aiming for the 1516 Brewing Company, which I recalled quite favorably from a previous visit.

Just off the crowded Karnterstrasse shopping street, there was a sign for the Crossfields Australian Pub, and as is my habit, I speculated aloud in an admittedly patronizing way about the sort of clueless tourist who’d travel all the way to Vienna just to have a beer in an Aussie theme bar – and then, glancing inside, my eyes bulged as I spotted the preposterously familiar answer to my question, seated right in front of me.

It was Graham.

It made sense, because Graham had once traveled extensively in Australia, so why wouldn’t he pause at an Aussie pub and enjoy those fine memories? But it was such a surprise to see him; he’d remained in Vienna longer than planned, and of the hundreds of places available to him for a last beer before the night train out of town, we happened by accident upon the one with him seated inside it. The reunion was joyful and raucous, and included an impromptu round of unfiltered Ottakringer Zwickl lagers, as well as the all-important exchange of road warrior tales.

At some point our erstwhile compatriot noted that 1516 was three short blocks down the street, and what’s more, he’d had multiple pints of Hop Devil during a previous evening’s visit there.

Wait, I said … you said Hop Devil … as in Victory Hop Devil, the delicious American IPA from Downingtown, Pennsylvania … a place nowhere near Vienna, and an ale markedly (and gloriously) dissimilar from the parade of admittedly fine but ultimately unchallenging lagers fueling our bikes across the hills and meadows of the Czech Republic.

One and the same, replied our Graham.

I was sure the heat, nostalgia or alcohol had gotten to my pal, but with mock indignation he offered to guide us all the way to 1516 to prove the veracity of his assertion, and so after settling the bar tab with the gracious hostess, herself an expat Aussie, we ambled over to 1516, where I requested a beer menu and prepared to savagely chortle at Graham’s fevered misperceptions.

Except there it was: Hop Devil.

While I scratched my head in befuddlement, Graham beamed and the patient server explained in impeccable English that Hop Devil had originally been brewed at 1516 two years earlier by Victory’s Bill Covaleski. Apparently the brewpub had started a “guest brewer” program with the help of famed Austrian beer guru Conrad Seidl, and afterward, some of the beers were installed as rotating seasonal offerings.

Thus, Vienna-brewed Hop Devil was on tap with a vengeance. Graham was right, I was wrong, and I’ve never been happier to find myself on the losing end of a bet. We desperately needed an American hop jolt after so many days of balanced golden lagers. As the beer menu observed, Hop Devil marked the “first time (that) whole hops were used in 1516 Brewing Company.”

I celebrated this miracle of timely convergence by drinking three imperial pints. Little did I know that fully a dozen beers and two huge meals remained in my day, spread out among two excellent urban breweries (Salm and Siebenstern) and the Bogside, an Irish pub far more Viennese in character than Hibernian; no matter, because the Guinness was fine, and the tunes even better.

Graham soon departed 1516 for the station to catch his overnight ride to Belgium. The single biggest surprise of that 2006 journey – perhaps of any of my travels – was our purely happenstance meeting with him. However, second place handily goes to the surreal joy of drinking Victory Hop Devil at a Viennese brewpub. American-style craft beer in the Habsburgs’ backyard?

Who’d have guessed?

The smell was of intense tropical fruit! Also pine needles and a bit floral. There was a nice combination of sweet fruits and flowery freshness.

The taste was reflective of the aroma. The big pineapple sweetness was tamed by the astringent (in a good way) lingering bitterness. The 9.5% alcohol was nearly masked by the intense juicy and fruit zest flavors. Finishes long and semi-dry. I would recommend this one to any hop head.

The mouthfeel was slick at first which gave way to the zippy carbonation. Medium to full bodied. This is probably the best Sun King beer I’ve had (and they are all pretty good).

So before I headed down to Kentucky Lake for 3 days of fishing, I swung into Against the Grain Brewery to snag a growler of Heine Big Bro (13% ABV at $13 a growler), their new imperial oatmeal stout. Here is how the fellas at ATG describe the beer:

Louisville roasted Heine Bros. espresso was hot extracted pre-fermentation, and Mary Catherine’s blend was cold extracted and added post-fermentation to give this beer an aggressive bitterness as well as a delicate yet pronounced coffee flavor and aroma. We started this imperial oatmeal stout with a massive amount of high quality Maris Otter malt and added an array of specialty malts including oats, roasted barley, and very dark caramel munich. Hefty additions of British hops early in the boil make for a powerful bitterness to balance the high malt sweetness. If your soul stays black, even in the sun, this beer is for you.

The worst part about heading to a majority of the bodies of water in Kentucky, especially Western KY, is that a decent amount of counties are “dry”. Knowing this, I always plan ahead and bring my own share of beer and some extras to share with the rest of the fishing guys to try to introduce them to craft beer. I will acknowledge that these guys are your typical Light beer drinking blue-collar guys, but they tend to always imbibe in the “strong” beer that I bring to test their pallets. So I cracked open the Hill Farmstead growler and poured the beer into the best-looking beer glass the lower-rate hotel had to offer. Now that I think about it, I should have brought my own glass…and slept on top of the covers.

Potent stuff. Coffee and bitterness were the first things which came to mind, followed by a slight roast characteristic.

Guy 1: “Whatcha drinking there, mind if I get some”

Me: “Nope. Go for it.”

Guy 2: “Hey man, can I get some of that too”

Guy 3: “Let me try some. Did you make this stuff?”

Me: “Nope, it’s from Against the Grain Brewery. It’s the new brewery in Slugger Field. Good stuff man, you should check it out. The owners are pretty cool.

Guy 1: “This is powerful stuff. You can really taste the coffee in the beer. That’s crazy.”

Guy 2: “Oh man, what do you call this stuff again. Stout?”

One glass went down way to quick. I quickly poured another and noted my growler was about half gone. The coffee bitterness stick to my tongue like a metal pole in the winter. On the second glass, the smooth chocolate taste came out from the roasted barley and oats. For 13%, the booze factor isn’t apparent…hidden quite well. Although ATG’s London Balling is tough to beat as far as my favorite beer of theirs goes, Heine Big Bro comes in a close second. If it’s still on tap, head down to there to check it out.

By the time I went to pour myself a third glass, the growler was empty. Mission accomplished, I’ve helped spread the word of good beer…and got a slight buzz while doing it.

The smell was acidic, strawberry, and vinegary, very promising.  Wood, but with unpleasant hints of plastic, which became stronger as it warmed.

The taste was powerfully sour. Lip puckering sour, wonderful! Fresh strawberries and oak. There was a Sweet-Tarts candy like character in this one. However, there were enough grainy malts to give it a solid core. A nice, bone-dry finish to this one. The mouthfeel was effervescent, with a medium heft to the body. I enjoyed it despite some off notes in the aroma.

This beer was a 750 mL corked and caged bottle from 9-23-10, batch 42-09.